


Couldn't take another heartbreak

by softpink_candlelight



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Broken Betty Cooper, Christmas, F/F, Gay, Lesbian Betty Cooper, Out of Order, Secret Santa, beronica, betty cooper has a good support system, not chronological
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-12 18:06:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16877697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softpink_candlelight/pseuds/softpink_candlelight
Summary: Betty struggles to deal with the emotional fallout of her dad being the Black Hood.  She also struggles with her huge ass crush on Veronica Lodge, but luckily she has a good support system between Kevin and Jughead.  This summary is rly bad and I can only hope the story is a lil bit betterThis is my first ever fic and I only wrote it because there isn't enough Beronica on this website tbh.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Uhhh things happen not in order. This is kinda set after season two, after we just found out Hal Cooper is the black hood, but other stuff never happened. Hiram never returned, so Veronica works at Pop's, but doesn't own it. Choni happened before the black hood. No blossom/cooper relation. As of right now I have no clue on the whole Southside high thing, but Jug isn't really a part of the serpents since his dad's abusive like why would he join anYWAY I hope you enjoy pls pls pls leave feedback. Also send beronica fics my way. I'm begging

“Betty,” Veronica moans, breathy, gasping, oh so sexy.

Betty is on top of her in the gymnasium, on the day of Vixens tryouts, but Cheryl isn’t there anymore. No one is there, actually, except Betty and Veronica, an odd fact Betty is keenly aware of. The girls are in their cheerleading outfits, which is also inaccurate, but Betty can’t bring herself to care because her hand is slowly sliding up Veronica’s thigh, inching closer, closer-

And suddenly Hal Cooper storms in, the gym doors slamming open. He pulls on his mask, green eyes shining through, and points a gun at her. She stops, blood running cold, and slowly raises her hands. There is a pause, and without warning, Hal moves his hand downward and she sees the gun fire but hears nothing, nothing, nothing but Veronica’s scream.

Gasping, Betty sits up. She looks over at the clock on her bedside. 3:23 am. She is covered in cold sweat, and she feels the fear of Veronica being shot lingering in her chest, the way it always does after this nightmare. She rolls over and grabs her phone, to text Kevin first, then Jughead, because one of them is bound to be awake at this ungodly hour.

The next day at lunch, Betty is dog tired as she picks apart her joke of a lunch she had tossed together that morning. Kevin scoots in close next to her. 

“How’re you feeling today?” Without asking, he reaches into his backpack and drops a whole sleeve of thin mints in front of her. Eagerly, she grabs the silver roll and tears it open, nudging him in thanks.

“Tired, honestly.” She hands him a cookie, and takes one herself, and they clink them together. 

Kevin cocks his head, looking her up and down, pausing at her face. “Your eye bags are huge.” 

She laughs, unsurprised. 

“How about a sleepover this weekend? We can do face masks, cucumber on our eyelids, talk about gay shit…” he hesitates, heading into more serious thoughts, “and maybe if you wake up next to somebody it might be easier.” 

“Kevin, that’s sweet, but I don’t think my mom would let me out of the house right now, and you do not want to be around her. She’s a mess, it’s so bad.”

Just then, Veronica and Archie come strolling across the green, to their regular table. His arm is loped over her shoulder, and Betty feels a pang when she sees the height difference works so well. Kevin rests his head on her shoulder for just a moment before sitting back up. They communicate like this, and they have for so long, in silent touches and gestures and looks. She’s more grateful for him now more than ever.

“Ooh! Are those thin mints?” Veronica asks as they sit down. Betty nods and extends the package across the table, trying not to stare at Veronica’s pretty hand, pretty fingers…

“Want one, Arch?” Kevin asks, snapping Betty out of her trance. She smiles quietly, thinking of the time Jughead had tricked Archie into believing that if he ate toothpaste, he wouldn’t have to brush his teeth.

“Uh, no thanks, I’m not big on mint,” Archie says. Their eyes meet across the table and she smiles at the inside joke, but Veronica, ever observant, is not one to be left out.

“Why not? What’s so bad about mint?” 

“Nothing- unless you consume and then puke up a whole tube of toothpaste within 5 minutes,” Jughead says, coming up behind Betty and squeezing in next to her. She’s grateful for him, too, for this little warm cocoon they’ve created for her at the lunch table. She can feel safe here, protected from the judging eyes of Riverdale, from her mother’s lack of structure, from her father’s lack of sanity. 

In the quiet moments like this, where everyone is distracted and laughing, she lets herself drift away a little bit. Lets herself pretend. Sometimes, it’s 1950, and she and Veronica are secretly dating, using Archie and Jug as beards. Or sometimes, she pretends the Tryouts Kiss never happened, and she never discovered her attraction for girls. In this fantasy, she’s dating Juggie or Kevin, and they go to movies and share shakes at Pop’s and hold hands under the stars, and she hasn’t been in love with Veronica Lodge the entire school year. Or sometimes her mind wanders back to that day, that moment. 

Kissing Veronica- or rather, Veronica kissing her- finally forced her to see all of the moments Betty had denied herself throughout her life. The way her eyes had always lingered on the curve of Cheryl’s ass, or how she had always stared a second too long at the boobs in the bra aisle, or even the way she always felt so special when Ethel was nice to her. Suddenly, everything was clear, and everything was good. 

Kevin said she had walked around starstruck for weeks, which explains why Veronica was so keen on trying to get her and Archie together. She of course thought it had to do with the dance, with him, never dreaming Betty had quickly fallen for her.

Betty chanced a look up at Veronica now, knowing she risked staring, risked being caught, but oh, it was worth it. Her lips were curved into a laugh, and it made Betty smile, despite everything. Her brown eyes were lit up and glowing, and she just seemed so happy, so full of life. Betty leaned into Kevin, because she was sad and happy all at once, and Kevin leaned back, because he understood. 

Kevin was the first person she told. Once she realized, once she was absolutely sure- and even then, she still said it like she was begging him to convince her otherwise.

He encouraged her to experiment, urged her to find out more, to investigate. “Have you ever even kissed a boy, Betty?”

So she found the closest boy she could and kissed him. And it was nothing like kissing Veronica. 

Jughead had tasted like burgers, and fries, and stale coffee. But more than that, his lips had been hard under hers, and his stubble grated at her upper lip, and he hadn’t felt soft or warm or inviting. He had no lipstick that slid under the pressure of her lips, he had nothing to pull her to him.

The kiss had served investigative purposes for both of them. Besides, everyone thought they were dating anyway. They spent so much time together investigating Jason’s death, and writing the Blue and Gold, and eventually they just started ignoring the questions and rumors about their relationship. Between stakeouts and interviews, they talked about other things: FP’s lax parenting style, Alice’s authoritarian one, siblings, sexualites, everything. They finally decided it would be safer, easier for them both to just hide with each other. When they went to homecoming together, it was like they were coming out as official, and Veronica had been the first to congratulate them. The rest of the night Betty felt a soft pang of loss, like she had let something slip away unintentionally, and she could never get it back.

That feeling stayed, lingered. It would come back sharp, like when she saw Archie and Veronica kiss for the first time. Or when it was just the two of them together, B and V, in one of their bedrooms, talking quietly. Or when she saw Cheryl and Toni holding hands in the hallways, before they leaned in to kiss each other goodbye before class. 

It was then that Betty realized maybe, maybe she didn’t have to hide. Maybe it would be okay if she held Veronica’s hand in the hallways, walked her to class, carried her books. Maybe the Coopers wouldn’t implode if their one daughter that wasn’t a teen mom turned out to be gay- maybe it would all be okay.

Then her dad turned out to be a fucking serial killer and her whole life was shot to hell. And now, no matter how much Kevin begged for her to “get the woman of your dreams,” no matter how much Jughead softly encouraged her to just “tell Veronica how you feel,” Betty knew she couldn’t take another heartbreak. One more and she would end up like her mom, holed up in her house, sobbing over nothing and everything all at once. 

“So what say you all? Friendsmas at my house? There’ll be mistle-toeeee,” Veronica said, singsonging the last word towards Jughead and Betty. 

Betty looked around at her friends, trying to figure out where the conversation had gone since she drifted off. 

“I’m down- can we do a Secret Santa?” Kevin asked, clasping his hand together. “And a potluck?”

Veronica tilted her head. “I wanna say yes to Secret Santa, but I think we may need to widen our circle a bit for that.” 

“We can invite Josie and Reggie, and how about Toni and the guys?” Archie suggested, looking at Jughead. Betty followed it all like a tennis match, offering nothing.

Jughead laughed. “Anywhere Toni goes, Cheryl goes, so we’d be inviting them both.” 

“The more the merrier!” Veronica announced, spreading her arms wide with glee. “When are we all free? Christmas break starts next week, and I don’t work Sunday night, so we could kick off the break with the party!” 

Betty smiled at Veronica’s enthusiasm. She then swung her head towards Jughead, her silent way of letting him decide whether or not they attend. She could go either way: on one hand, it would be so much fun. But on the other hand, it sounded exhausting to be around people all night, people who would expect them to be affectionate, and she’d have to watch Archie and Veronica be all over each other. 

Apparently, Jughead was in a social mood, because he pulled his beanie from his head, holding it open to the table. “I have a hat we can use for the name picking!”

Veronica looked downright nauseous at the thought of putting her hand in his beanie. “As… generous… as that is, I think it would be better if I just arranged it!”

“But then you wouldn’t get a secret santa yourself!” Kevin exclaimed, clearly upset with the thought. “Why don’t I do it? Besides, you’re gonna plan the whole party and host, it wouldn’t be fair for you to not get a present.”

Veronica pouted for a moment. “But I wanted to put everyone’s secret santa assignment on an engraved invitation card.”

Jughead rolled his eyes. “You can’t assign secret santas and then invite people. If they don’t show, it’ll be awkward.” 

Kevin nodded. “Let me handle invites and secret santa- you do the rest.” 

Veronica thought for a moment and nodded, and Betty couldn’t help but smile as she noticed how cute her face was when she conceded. 

The conversation continued, light and easy, and Betty drifted away again, happy and safe. After a bit, the bell rang, and they all began sorting themselves out, getting ready to head back to class. Veronica and Archie stood up and shared a long, languid kiss. Betty leaned in to Jughead and squeezed her eyes tight, and he slung an arm around her, kissing the top of her forehead. Veronica and Archie pulled away from each other, and Juggie released his grip, letting her know it was okay. She smiled up at him for just a moment, before turning around and linking arms with Kevin.

They began walking away from the group, towards English, still huddled against the cold.

“Soooo….” Kevin began, sounding a little too innocent.

“So…” Betty prompted.

“So, you know I’m gonna rig it so you’re V’s secret santa, right?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie thinks she gets it. fun fact: she does not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey here I am posting another chapter because I just wanna do justice to Betty Cooper. Also if weed is not your jam maybe steer clear? Although apparently my version of Betty Cooper isn't a fan either (mostly bc neither am I and I am Projecting(tm). Also also, a coming out happens here so if that is triggering for whatever reason, maybe skippy skip.

All day, Betty had been in a fog, even more so than usual. Polly, ever the fixer, had pulled open the curtains and made a strong pot of coffee that morning, sitting them all down and declaring they should try to talk with him. 

Betty had stared at her coffee, watching the milk swirl in. Talk to him? The murderer? Their father? It was like thinking about two different people, which somehow made it worse.

Their mom had cocked her head to the side, the way she did when her investigative senses started tingling. Both girls had watched as Alice Cooper, who hadn’t showered or brushed her teeth in at least a week, slowly began sitting up straighter, the light returning to her eyes. 

Polly, apparently, had been online, researching therapeutic self-help, googling “therapists in Riverdale.” She thought it was time to “face the trauma” and “get the closure” that was needed in order for them all to begin healing. Which, of course, required they talk with him. Share with him. Cry a little. 

The old Betty might have scoffed, walked away from the table and out the door to school. Or the old Betty might have demanded to interview him, publish what she found, proving once and for all she was not in cahoots with her murderous father. But that Betty wasn’t dying under the weight of guilt, and that Betty had a determination this Betty had misplaced. 

Her mom and sister began discussing days where they could see him, whether it was better to go as a group or all at once. Polly picked up her phone and began sending their mom the links to articles, websites, a psychiatrist or two. Betty heard herself say, “I’m gonna head to school,” felt herself get a hug from both women, saw her feet walking to the front door. But all she could think was- talk with him? Which him? Why? Why why why?

She was still on this endless loop as she stared into her second cup of coffee for the day, sitting in the lounge. She purposefully didn’t put milk in this time- it wasn’t like she was gonna drink it, and besides, she didn’t really deserve the beauty it created. She felt like she was gonna ruin everything she touched.

Betty was so sucked into her thoughts, perched on the edge of the empty couch when she feels the cushion sink down next to her. 

“Hey girl,” Josie says softly, and Betty looks up. Josie always looks so put together, so with it. The old Betty was like that, but this Betty doesn’t care, favoring oversized sweaters and skinny jeans that need to be washed.

Betty smiles at her, because she doesn’t know what Josie wants and doesn’t feel like talking, hoping for polite silence. But Josie, as always, is on a mission, and is only here to accomplish her goal.

“I know that I don’t know what it’s like-I don’t think anyone does. But I maybe have an inkling…” She sighs, eyeing Betty. Josie’s hunting for the signs of the old Betty, the one that was too curious to trust, the one that would take a fact and discover every piece of the scandal before publishing it all. And it relieves Josie, but also breaks her heart, when she realizes she doesn’t see that Betty here.

“My mom has been involved in some… shady stuff. And she cheated on my dad, and is still apparently cheating on my dad… so I understand what it’s like to be disillusioned with a parent. I just wanted to share with you my… coping mechanism… during all of this.” 

Betty looks at her, thinking of Polly’s words, wondering what Josie could possibly have that would make all of this better.

“You have next period off?” Betty nods. “Cool. Meet me in the downstairs janitor’s closet like 5 minutes after the bell rings.” Josie jumps up, sashays away, and Betty looks back down at her coffee.

The next thing to break her out of her reverie is the bell ringing, and she watches the clock, wondering if she’ll get off the couch and find Josie. It seems like nowadays she never knows what she’s gonna do. Everything used to be so careful and planned. Deliberate. She used to stress over the most minor detail, but now her actions are a surprise even to her. Vaguely, she wonders how this will affect her future. She squints at the poster where all the college deadlines are posted, but she can’t make out any of the dates, and she doesn’t care enough to get closer.

3 minutes after the bell rings, and she realizes she’s tired of this. No one else is in the student lounge except Dilton Doiley, who’s furiously doing homework even though he’s probably two weeks ahead already. She gets up, hears all her joints popping and creaking. He shoots her a dirty look, like Betty made all that noise on purpose, but it doesn’t phase her.

She walks out, down the 27 steps, around the corner, and comes to a stop in front of the blue door. Betty remembers when she found out Jughead had lived here, in this closet. Had felt so bad for him. Now he feels bad for her. Everything is cyclical in Riverdale. 

She knocks. Has it been 5 minutes? There’s no clock in the hallway and her phone is shoved deep in her backpack, so she doesn’t know the time. After a pause, she knocks again. 

The closet door flies open, and Josie pulls her in by her wrist. “Jesus Christ, do you want the whole school to hear you?” She shuts the door and pulls a big box in front of it, making it so the door can’t be opened from the outside.

“Alright, Betty Cooper, let’s get you high.”

Josie shoves her hand into her backpack, pulling out a pencil bag. She opens the pencil bag, rooting around in it before pulling out a wax pen, clicking the button. 

Betty only recognizes it from the times she’s seen one just like it in Kevin’s hand. Even though he always offered, she never partook after the first time, preferring instead to just watch him while he giggled and drive him around if he needed it. She had no desire to lose control and float away after giving weed one obligatory try, and that hadn’t changed a bit. 

Betty shakes her head. “I’m good, thanks.” Her voice cracks from the lack of use. 

“But, babe- it’ll take you away from all your problems!” 

“Josie-”

“Please? One hit.” Josie’s eyes are wide, almost desperate, and Betty realizes she had taken a gamble. If Betty smokes with her, then Betty can’t rat her out. Josie thought she was being helpful, but she was covering her ass in the same breath.

“I’ve tried it before, and I don’t like it.” ‘I won’t tell’ is on the tip of her tongue, but Betty knows it’s gonna take more than that. She takes a deep breath, steels herself, and plops herself on the box blocking the door.. 

“Josie, can I tell you a secret?” She hates bartering her safety like this, but she knows Josie needs them to be even.

Josie nods, sitting down next to her and taking a hit off her pen in the same moment. 

“I like Veronica.” 

It’s quiet for a moment. Josie takes another puff, pulling in slow, then blowing the steam out. It smells slightly orange-y. 

“So… girls, then? What about Jughead?”

Betty shrugs, not wanting to reveal what Josie may already suspect. 

“How long have you known?” 

Betty thinks back to The Kiss during tryouts, at the beginning of the schoolyear. Thinks back to how unbelievably soft Veronica Lodge was, how she smelled like vanilla, how Betty’s lips slid on Veronica’s lipstick. 

She shrugs.

Josie looks at her then, mischievous. “In that case… I have something better than weed to offer you, Elizabeth Cooper.”

Josie slips off the box and kneels in front of Betty. Betty is caught off guard by the smooth movement, more snakelike than pussycat. Josie places her hands on Betty’s knees and slowly slides up her thighs, before leaning in to kiss her. The physicality of it burns Betty deep down, in the most romantic part of her, but Betty swallows it, pushes it away, hoping to lose herself in the moment. 

Josie slides one hand up Betty’s torso, to her breast, and the other continues into the meeting of her thighs, rubbing her fingers unceremoniously on Betty’s clit through her jeans. Betty lurches forwards and groans into Josie’s mouth. 

“Like that?” Josie asks, teasing, but Betty can’t help her whimper when Josie does it again, and again. 

Josie molds Betty’s breast through her sweater, before pushing her hand up under the layers. Her hand is cold, Betty thinks, but doesn’t mind the sensation against her nipples. Josie pushes the sweater and bra up, exposing Betty’s breast, before licking and nipping and sucking hickies. Betty groans again, pressing her hand to the back of Josie’s neck. 

Josie travels down, down, nipping at the small pooch below her belly button. She then looks up at Betty, her hands on the button of Betty’s jeans.

“Is this okay? Can I do this?” Betty nods, frantic, then pauses. She doesn’t want to lose her virginity to Josie, someone she only half knows, in a closet that her friend used to live in, at a school she really kind of hates, and before she’s even reached this conclusion she’s shaking her head no no no, feeling the tightness in her throat that means she’s going to cry. 

“Oh, Betty, I didn’t mean to-” Josie is standing now, hands raised, and Betty feels even worse.

“No-it’s not you, I promise, it’s just- It’s all just catching up with me. Sorry.” Betty pulls her shirt and bra back down, pressing the palm of her hands into her eyes. 

Josie kneels down again, but doesn’t put her hands on Betty. “I get it, really,” she whispers, but again, Betty is shaking her head no, no, no. 

“You don’t, which is fine, I’m glad you don’t-”

“But I do! My mom-”

“Your mom is a great person, Josie. She’s a politician who fell in love. It’s embarrassing, sure, but you aren’t drowning in guilt for all the fucked up things she did!”

Josie is taken aback. She stands, backing off, a little pissed that Betty won’t let her empathize. “Whatever, Cooper. Let me out.” 

Betty scrambles up from the box, shoving it aside with her knee and stands up to let Josie pass. One hand on the doorknob, Josie looks over her shoulder.

“You won’t tell?” 

Betty raises her bleary eyes to meet Josie’s brown ones. “Will you?” 

“Of course not.” With that, Josie throws open the closet door and walks out.


End file.
